Episode 77: Healing, Horses, and Honoring Your Season with Sue Willoughby

In this episode of The Well-Tended Life podcast, I sit down with transformational coach and equine-guided wisdom sharer Sue Willoughby for a beautiful conversation about growth, presence, and the unexpected power of horses in the healing journey.

With roots in many paths and a deep passion for helping others navigate life transitions, Sue brings a gentle yet powerful presence to her work. Through her equine-assisted coaching practice, she invites people to connect with themselves in a whole new way—by learning from the intuitive, non-verbal, deeply perceptive nature of horses.

We talk about the importance of play, curiosity, and learning to accept and adapt to the seasons of our lives. Sue also shares her personal journaling practices, her thoughts on gratitude, and how mindfulness—especially when paired with equine wisdom—can lead to lasting transformation.

Whether you’re in a season of transition, seeking a deeper connection to yourself, or just curious about how animals can help us heal, this conversation will stir your spirit and offer gentle guidance.

🐴 Here are a few heart taps from this episode:

1️⃣ Horses are powerful mirrors. Their natural sensitivity and herd instincts help us recognize what we might be missing—and open the door to transformation.

2️⃣ Equine coaching isn’t about the horse. It’s about you—and how the horse reflects your strengths, struggles, and spirit.

3️⃣ Let play be a part of your practice. It’s as essential to growth as work and rest.

4️⃣ Journaling can anchor your week and awaken gratitude. It’s a tool for tending, not just tracking.

5️⃣ Life has seasons. When we stop resisting and start listening, we can move through them with grace.

🌾 So grab your journal and open your heart—this episode is full of soulful reminders and unexpected wisdom from the pasture. Hit play and let your journey unfold.

Connect with Sue Willoughby:

Willoughby Coaching

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Transcript

Intro of The Well-Tended Life read by host, Keri Wilt

Hey friends. Welcome to the Well-Tended Life podcast. What is a well-tended life? Well, let me start by telling you what it is. Not a well-tended. Life is not a set it and forget it life, nor is it a perfect life. It is though a life that is worked on every day in the sunshine and through the storms. And the truth is what worked in our life gardens last year may not work in the next.

That's why. Here at the Welwood Life Podcast, we're interviewing people who have grown and bloomed true in a variety of seasons, and who are willing to share their well-attended wisdom and bead whacking advice with us. Listen in.

 Hello everyone and welcome to the Well attended Live podcast. I'm your host, Keri Wilt, a speaker, writer, and heart cultivator who is on a mission to help you and me grow through any season. Friends. I believe that the tiniest of moments, if we're paying attention, can lead us to the biggest transformations.

And today's episode, as always, is inspired by one of my favorite scenes from The Secret Garden where Young Mary Lennox lost in her own grief and loneliness follows the flutter of a little Robin. That bird leads her not just to the hidden garden door, but to the key that would unlock her healing, her joy, and ultimately her purpose.

The quote says, it was all through Ben weather staff's. Robin, the book says, and I believe that just like this little bird, sometimes it takes a creature, maybe an animal to guide us where we need to go. Which brings me to today's guest. Sue Willoughby, a transformational coach whose work with horses is nothing short of miraculous.

Through her equine assisted coaching and retreats, Sue helps people navigate life transitions and big questions to find clarity, courage, and purpose, all by tuning into the wisdom of these powerful, intuitive animals. And I can't wait to see what well-attended wisdom she has to share with us today. So if you've ever felt stuck, unsure of your next step or simply curious about what be, might be waiting for you on the other side of your locked door, this episode is for you because sometimes all it takes is being willing to follow the nudge, trust, trust the process, and saying, show me the key.

Let's dig in. Welcome, Sue. 

Hi, how you doing? Thank you so much for that introduction. I could not have said it better myself. 

I'm glad I was here to do that for 

you. 

Okay, so I literally just gave a like quick snippet of what you do, but give the, who is Sue? Introduction a little bit deeper.

Oh my goodness. I am many things. I have been many things throughout the course of my life. I have done a little bit of everything. From flying airplanes to jumping out of them to being a roller derby referee, to working in tech to. Being a real estate investor and real estate agent and all kinds of things grow.

There's not, I don't let thing, the grass grow under my feet, so to speak. I wanna keep with the growing theme and the, yeah. Yes, I love it. You're killing it 

already. We're not even not even a minute in, and she's already spewing outgrowing themes. Love it. So I love this because I always tell, like, when I'm asked to like, speak at a school, I'm always like, the first thing I tell kids, I'm like, don't fall for the lie.

That you have to decide what you wanna be when you grow up. Like you get to be whatever you want and you can change it in a year or so. You, like a million of, I have followed that same path and as I dunno about you, but as a kid I remember thinking like, why don't I know what I wanna be?

Because like my friend was like, oh, I wanna be a doctor and I wanna be an accountant. I was like, I know I don't wanna be any of those things, but I don't know what I wanna be. And so I love that your life has taken you on all of these paths, but I'm so curious, like, how did you find your way to equine assisted coaching?

Like show me how you got there. 

Let me get my big map out 'cause it's gonna take a while. Actually, like growing up with a, my parents split up when I was very young and then I went to live with my mom and she was an alcoholic and I kinda grew up very quickly around in those circumstances became very self-sufficient.

And, but I also had this passion for horses and I would, beg my mom, please take me to the barn because I felt really good there, it was like my happy place. So I grew up in upstate New York and there was, in the wintertime there's three feet of snow and I'm like, I still wanna go to the barn.

I don't care. So I would just go and I would hang out with the horses all day and, sniff them and hold them and ride them and, all kinds of stuff. It was like my happy, safe place. And then just throughout my life I remember when we moved to Connecticut I  the car had barely stopped and I noticed that there was a riding stable across the street from me and I just ran over there and begged the guy to let me clean stalls for the privilege of riding.

'cause we didn't have a ton of money and the horses are expensive, even back then, this was in the seventies and I just, I loved it. I would literally cut school and hide out at the barn, hide down, wait for the bus to go by, and then I'd go out, go over to the barn.

That was bad. But because it felt good. I just wanted to be around them and I didn't even at that point understand why, why it felt so good and what their healing properties were. Fast forward a little bit. I. Saw an ad in the, the local paper back in the day when we actually had newspapers and it was looking, they were looking for summer camp help at a camp for special needs individuals.

And they had a horseback riding program. And I was like, sign me up. I don't care. Whatever. The pay was nothing basically, but I'm like, I get to spend the whole summer with horses helping people and I would go and I would even, for a few years in a row and my mother would be like, yeah, quitting your job to go, you got a really good job here.

And I'm like, I don't care. Bye. Just go. Yeah. Because it felt good and it was like therapeutic riding before I even really knew what that was. And horses have just always been a thread in my life and it's, it just stuck. One thing led to another. I got back into volunteering at a therapeutic riding center when I was older.

I got certified in equine massage, so that was a different experience because in with equine massage, I was holding space for the horse. And I was helping the horse heal because horses do so much healing that I was the role reversal. But even then, it's reciprocal.

Then I found out about equine assisted coaching and got certified in that went on to become a master facilitator, meaning that I do, I can do group events. And so that's the straightest path I can think of to tell you. My gosh. 

Okay. For the person who knows nothing about equine assisted coaching no even understanding of I think I could tell you, like I have heard of the fact that, veterans go and, ride horses and have these interactions, but I really, I have no un understanding of how it is the horses being used in the coaching process, in, in how you're helping someone to better understand themselves through this. So can you like, give us a window into what this even looks like? 

Yeah. I'd be happy to do that. It's interesting because I need to give you a little bit of horse knowledge first.

I think would be helpful. A lot of people will come to me and be like, oh, I'm afraid of horses. They may have had a quote unquote bad experience or something but they're afraid of them. Let's face it, they're 1200 pounds. They're really, some of 'em are really big and unless it's a mini horse and they have bigger personalities than some of the big horses, but but people understandably are intimidated by them because they are big, they are powerful.

They've all seen the movies where the horses are out fighting in the field or, whatever. Yes. The thing is, they're prey animals. So they are literally prey when they're in the wild. So every cell in their body is hypersensitive and tuned into survival and awareness and being present in every single moment.

And that is what makes them such good healers and coaches and all of that when you are in proximity with a horse. Now they're also herd animals. So they are constantly non-verbally, sometimes verbally, but non-verbally communicating with the other members of their herd. They're watching each other's behaviors they're looking for, a sudden startling if one of the horses startles and they're, they wanna know, are we safe?

Do we need to run? Do we need to, do something whatever. So they're always communicating that way. But their bodies are like these huge sensory, devices. Their ears work independently of each other. Their eyes are on the sides of their heads. So they're, they have a, big cir circle of vision really.

And even their skin is hypersensitive. You've ever seen like a fly land on a horse's? Yes. And it like ripples. Yeah. And they just flick their butt and the fly goes off. It's amazing. They use their tails. They use their, ears and eyes and everything. There's, they smell if you get close to a horse, they like to exchange breath with you.

So people always think I'm kissing the horse and I'm not. I'm exchanging breath with them. It's funny. So having said that, they are prey animals and they're very sensitive to. Everything around them because they wanna know, am I safe? Are you gonna be a threat to me? So they can sync up with our kind of bio rhythms, our internal systems, our breathing, our heart rate, all of that.

They sense what is going on inside of us. They don't care what's going on the outside. And let's face it, as humans, we like to have a certain facade that we present to the world. A mask of some sort that we hide behind. Horses don't care about that, and they don't see it. They see right through it, which is really interesting.

And they'll also mirror what they're getting from you, but you're part of their herd when you're close to them. So they wanna know Hey, are you okay? Do I feel safe with you? And if you're putting up a huge front and not being congruent, in other words, your insides don't match your outsides, the horse will sense that.

And they may stay away from you. They may be they're just protecting themselves. They're just being themselves. Yeah. So that's kinda, that is a little bit about the interaction. So when I'm working with a client, I'm looking at the horse and I am looking to see what behaviors that horse is exhibiting, what the person is exhibiting, and how they're approaching the horse, what the horse's reaction is.

And then it gives me the opportunity to ask very open ended questions. And I can also ask them what they're observing about the horse. And a lot of times they may project what they're feeling onto the horse, which is interesting too. 



So give me an example of that. , We usually work in a small confined space and the horse doesn't have a halter and a lead rope.

So the horse is at liberty to move about freely and just do whatever they want. If they wanna lay down, if they wanna roll, they can do that. They can do whatever they want. So let's say somebody enters the arena with the horse and the horse is just on the other side of the arena. They may be picking up something from the person and then the person, might just be like, Hey, looking frustrated and saying, the horse doesn't like me.

The horse is bored with me. The horse doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I. Why? Why do you say that? He is way over there. He's staying way over there. Why do you think that is? Because he doesn't like me. He doesn't wanna talk to me. He doesn't wanna be near me. And you're like okay.

Where's that coming from? Yeah. But it's interesting, and then, you can ask some more questions around that and kinda get down to, does that happen? Where? Where does that happen to you in your life? People think about blah, blah, blah, then they'll go off on this whole thing, and you're like, whoa, okay, now I see where that's coming from.

Do you really think that the horse understand? So yes. Not about the horse. It's never about the horse. 

No. And I can imagine as that work continues and those walls come down, the reward. Of that horse then coming and being a part of that person's life, right? And that the trust between the two has gotta be big.

Yeah. Yeah. When it's interesting if we're doing a, something called advance and retreat, which is the person may just walk up to the horse and. Approach it just, and then walk away and then maybe walk up again and walk away just and see how the horse is reacting. Just trying to make that nonverbal connection with the horse and maybe the person walks up and then walks away and turns their back and then the horse comes up behind them and puts their nose like on the back of their neck and they're like, oh my God, the horse came right up to me.

And it's just to see that reaction and have all see all of this, whatever it is that they brought into the session, just melt away when this horse comes near them. It's just, I'm getting goosebumps. 

Yeah I bet the transformations are crazy. I and it's interesting 'cause probably if someone's coming to you, they've tried other things, right?

Traditional things, medicine, whatever it happens to be. It feels like that, that this kind of therapy would be like, okay, I'll try this thing. 

Yeah. It might be curiosity. They may be already in, some sort of talk coaching or talk therapy or whatever and be stuck.

Yeah. 

And just, hit a wall and I just wanna try this. And it looks interesting. It sounds interesting and it's, it is interesting because if you're in the, like talk coaching or traditional coaching or therapy or whatever, like horses are non-verbal communicators, so it doesn't matter.

You can talk until you're blue in the face. They're just going to react to you from a heart-centered place, from a feeling place. So it's really good at getting people out of their heads and into their being, into their body and sensing what's really going on, instead of just a word that like, I'm angry.

Tell me about anger. What does that look like to you? What does that feel like to you? How do you, what happens in your body when you get angry and they have to stop and think about it and say it, I get like my stomach gets all gurgly and then I get pressure in my chest or whatever it is, or I, I clench my teeth.

Those are all physical signs, right? That something's happening. And it helps to build that level of awareness because we spend so much time in our heads that. To get back in your body and say, oh, okay, now I can start to build awareness around that. And when these things happen, you can say, oh, okay, that there's something that's triggering me and is causing this and physical reaction.

That gives you time to ground yourself and understand what's happening and put some education around it. It gives you a chance to pause and say, okay, why is this bothering me? Why do I, why is this making me angry? And what can I do to change my response accordingly? If that makes sense. Yeah.

And it's interesting because when you were describing the horse and how a horse is this, energetic. Being that, is almost like vibrating and senses all of these things. And as you're describing it I just kept going. Yeah, we are too. 



We are too. But we get, our head gets in the way, our thoughts get in our way.

The old stories get in our way. And Oh, totally. And so when you said get back in the body, I was like, that's where it's Right. That's where that sensing, and I think this all the time, but our bodies are so stinking amazing, like the ability to do what they do, even just like healing from a cut and and, but also sensing and feeling things.

We've all walked into a room and knew something was off. Like we felt something, nobody had to say a word, but you knew something wasn't right. Whether someone, there was sadness, whether there was angst of, if you walked into your pa into your parents' room and they were arguing, but they didn't say a word, but you felt it.

We've all done that, but then, but we shut, we allow the, our thoughts to shut all that off. It's like some, somewhere along the way we become disconnected from it. 

Absolutely. I love that. 

I love that. Get back in your body thought process. 

Yeah, absolutely.

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 Sometimes people just forget how to be playful and forget how to let go of things and, okay.

Talk about that. 

Because I think this is a huge issue for women. 


I think that we got so busy doing and taking care of that. That somewhere along the way we've started thinking that it wasn't okay to play. 

Yeah. 

So talk to me about like, how that can be helpful in someone's life or how does the horse help you figure that out to?

It is funny because it's, if somebody says, I can't, I have a hard time finding joy or I don't know how to be playful, or I don't have, I don't have fun anymore. I don't know how to have fun anymore. And, once again, it's what does fun feel like to you? And it maybe have been so long since they actually had fun that, I don't know.

I have no idea. Their intention maybe for the session is to have fun. And I can observe how they approach having fun. And they may be very stiff and very rigid. And the horse is like, what is going on here? This is not fun. So they're maybe they're trying to get the horse to move, let's say, and the way that they're approaching it may be very methodical and very structured and very whatever, and the horse is just staring at them. 'cause they don't understand, right? They're like, I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me here. You wanna have fun? So show me fun. The horse is show me fun.

So I let them interact and then they might get frustrated again and just be like, I don't know what to do. I said what have you been doing? I did this. And then what? Then? Then what did you do? I did the same thing again. You're doing the same thing over and guess what? You're gonna get the same result.

What else can you try? I don't know. Just, nobody's here to judge you. And I think that's part of it, right? We, women of a certain age, or people in general, we always feel like we're being judged and whether it's by ourselves or, being judged by self-judgment. Or other people are, I can't do that.

I'll just look silly. You're standing here with a horse. Do you think that they really care if you look silly? They don't know from silly. They do silly stupid things all the time. Watch them. Yeah. They jump straight up in the air because they're afraid of a paper bag or a plastic bag.

It's come on. Seriously. So it allows people to drop their guard and because the horse it removes judgment from the equation. And I think that is huge. And then by the end of the session, the person may be skipping around and the horse is following them, or they're just being playful.

And that's part of it. It's what is one playful thing that you can do? And they start to skip or they, do something funny or, and then they start laughing and then I can say, how does that feel? And they said, joyful. That feels like fun. I'm having a good time. Oh, okay. How can you take that back out into the real world?

And it, like I said, I think a lot of it is stems from just afraid of being judged and part of it is too we do, get on our little hamster wheel and just keep going and going and going and forget ,  to stop and have a good time. Whatever that good time is. It doesn't have to be with a horse.

It can be anything. But it does help to just play sometimes and . Think about what you used to do when you were a kid, something silly or something fun and just play and have fun with it. 

Yes. It's so important. It's so important. And it is, it's what helps fill us back up so that we can pour out into others.

I think that's where we got lost is we thought that fun didn't have a purpose. 

And it has a huge 

purpose. It has a huge purpose. Joy has a purpose. And it's not just frivolous. 

No. And laughter comedy, I have to look at the humorous side of everything, pretty much just because it's things, most things are so ridiculous that if you just stop taking yourself so seriously, it's just really 

so true. So true. So I know that your coaching is rooted in helping people who are really navigating life transitions, right? Or maybe searching for purpose. And I'm curious, like what are some of the common crossroads that people are out when they come to see you? 

Oh God.

It could be so many things. It can be just a lot of it in midlife is what am I gonna do next? Or Yeah. What's this next season gonna look like? Yeah. What's it gonna look like? I'm done. Or, they just don't feel like they're worthy of a next season. I guess I'm just gonna retire now and sit in the backyard and do nothing.

Really? Why would you wanna do that? So it may just be, a job, a plateau, and a job. It could just be maybe the kids moved out of the house and empty nester. Yeah. The empty nest syndrome. Getting ready to retire. Or it could just be, I hate my job. I want to do something different.

I don't know what to do. Or maybe. I'm in a position with my career and I wanna be a better leader. Horses are really good for that too. They will teach you leadership skills in a heartbeat. 

Okay. Talk, talk to me about that. Yeah. I think you're a good leader and until you're not oh, until you try to lead a horse, is that yeah.

Or try and get them or force them to do something that, 'cause leadership isn't about bullying people forcing them to your agenda. 'cause if you bring an agenda to a horse, they're gonna laugh at you. They'll be like, no, sorry. This is a team effort here, so let's figure this out.

So, it helps people with those problem-solving skills, if you're trying to do something. Why is it not working? Like I said, you keep, if you keep doing the same thing, you're gonna get the same result. So how can you think outside of the box? How can you be more creative? How can you develop a partnership and communication with this being on a level that they will understand?

So it's a deeper level than just telling the horse what to do. 'cause the horse just hears they don't care. I talk to my horse all the time, he doesn't care. He just is whatever, just keep flapping your jaws. But I, it is just me having a conversation with him. Yeah, just 'cause it's fun.

But trying different things it opens up the ability to try different things. And the same thing with if, I have retreats and they're usually a themed retreat. It may be about equanimity, it may be about something else, but sometimes if an intact, work group would come to a retreat or if they wanna schedule something.

A business retreat, it's interesting because each person will get a turn with the horse and then we'll do some group activities or whatever. But it allows your other coworkers to see how you operate in different situations, like with the horse and everyone is going to bring their own stuff to that horse or horses, whatever.

So it gives coworkers a better understanding of, oh, that's why Jim is hesitant to do something. It just opens up those doors of communication and allows also the manager to see, oh, okay, this is what my teams are really working with. Because it puts you in a vulnerable position and sometimes it's not always easy to be vulnerable in front of your coworkers because it's not what you usually bring to the office.

But it does open things up in a way that people who will have a better understanding and they may be a little bit more compassionate towards Jim or whatever. 'cause they found out something about him at the retreat. It also gives the manager the better opportunity to see, oh, okay, this person's bringing this to the table, this person's bringing this.

And also then they can take those skills back into the office and, and, have better communication hopefully. 'cause it's really good for communication. 

Yeah. I can see, I, as you were talking, I can see how it would even be great for a family. 

Absolutely. 

Yep. To be able to also be in a place in a space that doesn't feel like a family therapist's office.

But yet you ha still have the ability to learn and to, gain new knowledge about who you are, but also who you're living with. 

Couples, same thing. It, it really does open up those communi that communication. And you may find something out about your partner or your parent or your brother, your sibling or whatever.

Or yourself. Or yourself. And they would learn something about you. Yeah. How do you deal with things in these situations? 

Yeah. Because it does, it, it removes all the other stuff. Yeah. The other he said, she said, whatever. It's just it's here. Like we're just here hanging out with a horse.

Yeah. And we're gonna learn that way. I love that. And I love that you are offering this to people this is so amazing. 

Amazing. It really is beautiful. And the thing is, that's also cool about the retreats. I usually co-facilitate with another EQU coach, and we keep the group small.

We don't have any more than 12 people on the ranch at a time. And then we can, split up the groups and we'll flip flop and do different things. But the people that you know, may have come with someone that they know, but a lot of times they don't know the other people in the group at the retreat.

And it's a really cool bonding experience because you see people doing. Interacting with the horse, and you're sitting there going, oh my God, yes, that same thing is coming up for me. And then they start to bond. And so it's this really beautiful, you're out in nature and you're with the horses and it's just, it's just a beautiful experience, really

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Episode resumes:

 I'm sure you have witnessed some just powerful transformations. Can you share a moment or like a breakthrough that has stuck with you? 

Oh gosh. I think the one about the joy and not finding joy and not having fun was a pretty good one. Just all of a sudden the person is just laughing and smiling and, skipping around the arena with the horse and just, that was pretty beautiful.

But also people will come in and the horse can act as a metaphor. If they're having. Problem with their partner, or I had someone who was having a tough time with their son, and they were having a hard time letting go of, the, their kid was getting it to be that age where they wanted, they go, do, whatever.

So the horse, she didn't wanna leave the horse's side and she didn't wanna send the horse away from her because she was afraid it wouldn't come back and be with her. And so it was all about her son and her connection with her son and how she was going through this adjustment period of being afraid that he wouldn't need her anymore and that he wouldn't come back.

So that was really cool because the horse is pretty intuitive and will give the person what they need. Oh, a hundred percent. Cool. Yeah. 

Okay. And this sounds so crazy to me, but I read that you have adapted this coaching style for virtual clients. So tell me how that works. 

I bring the horse into my office here.

Just kidding. My dogs are here with me, but the horse would never, oh my God. He'd freak out. So the thing is, I have been around horses so much I can't give myself enough credit that I am the horse but I think of it in terms of if I'm talking to someone in a virtual coaching situation, I put my horse hat on.

Yeah. It's weird. But I think about what would the horse be doing right now? What would the horse. Pick up from this conversation and it's almost like I put myself in that situation, like as if the horse were here. Yeah. I know that sounds a little weird, but it's like an energetic connection with a horse that's not here.

It's like how people do, intuitive readings. Yeah. From a distance where I can it turns up my intuition about what the person's actually saying and I'm picking up on a lot of their nonverbal cues in the way that the horse would. Yeah. Makes sense. 

And I can imagine that after so many years of doing this, you're like the facilitator between the two and just.

My gut says even the horse is confirming what you already probably knew about the person, right? Yeah. 

It was, it's just another reflection point, for lack of better terms, right? The horse is the reflection that says, it's not me, the therapist saying this, Hey, look, it's the horse. The horse is telling you, the same thing that I probably would've told you.

But it comes in a little bit different. I lo I love that. I love that. Because I also do think it's more of an like intuitive style of therapy, which I think is very helpful for many people. 

Yeah, and you're absolutely right about the horse's role in the session. They are a feedback loop.

And like you said, I would ask the person, what are you observing right now from the horse? Based on whatever the it is that they were talking about or whatever they're, and then they will tell you I am, the horse is acting this way, or I see this happening, and then it's it just opens up that door wider, quicker.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. Gosh, we talk a lot on this show about what it means to live a well tended life. And I'd love to know from you what does that mean to you personally? 

For me, I think it is constantly, and not constantly, but I think, you go through phases, right? Just like you're with the season, the planting and the, all that kind of stuff.

And a lot of times. I will coach in seasons what season is this person in? Are they in winter? Are they in fall? Are they in spring, are they in? And all of those seasons are very aligned with, the growing phase of things. And I think we all go through those seasons, depending on where we are, we might be in one season with our job.

We might be in another season with our family or with our partner or whatever. So I try and be aware of what season personally I am in right now I feel like I'm a little bit more in a spring summer where I've been, planting the seeds.

I've been working on some things and I. And then I can, they'll start to, to come up in the spring and and then I can nurture them and be like, okay, I'm gonna get some good stuff out of this crop or whatever. Yeah. So I try and figure out where I am on an ongoing basis with certain things.

And there may be certain things that are like, I'm in winter and I'm done with that and that may be something that no longer serves me. And Yeah, and just, and that's okay. Yeah. 

And that's okay. And you have to be okay because guess what? It's gonna be spring again soon and something else will come up that will be, that will take that place or whatever.

But I try and be aware of how I'm feeling about certain things and where, what season I am personally in and. And accepting whatever that is, whether it's, yes. 

An idea phase. And I think, yeah, 

go ahead. Yeah. And I feel like knowing what season you're in, it really helps you to know what to say yes to, and know what to, what you need to say no to.

And for me it's, it, I use it as a filter. 

A filter for what comes in and what needs, like you said, what needs to go out and all the things. So good. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that your heart wanted to share about what you do, about transformations or even just like something you wanna make sure that the listener knows before we move on to the second part of the interview?

I think, for me, and I'd like to just encourage people to not. To not stop being curious, to just really be okay with being curious. And if something sparks your curiosity explore it. It's okay. Like you said, we don't have to do something forever. We can try something new and be, and b okay to be the beginner.

I think that's the other thing. A lot of times people don't wanna try new things A, because of judgment. B because they don't wanna be a beginner. Again, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna start something new 'cause I'm gonna look foolish but looking at things with fresh eyes and beginner eyes I think is exciting.

'cause I love to learn new things and try new things. So I think that's really important to remember. 

And I love being a beginner because you can screw things up and nobody really cares. Because like when you're a beginner, you're like, look, I've never done this before. When you're like supposed to be good at it, that's when I.

But then that's when I don't wanna do the work anymore. I like to be a beginner. That's my favorite. 

You do. And but some people don't pe some people don't. They wanna be an expert and it's you are not gonna be an expert right out of the bat. Out of the, yeah, not at all. Oh my gosh, this is so good.

I literally, y'all can't see at home, but my cheeks are just like smiling because it's so cool. And I can just imagine how helpful this kind of therapy is. And so I'm super thankful that you are doing it.

Ad: Free journaling offer in the show notes read by host, Keri Wilt.

And now it's time for my favorite part of the interview because it's inspired by my life tending journal practice. But let me be clear, this is not your grandma's journal. It's more of a growth chart, reflection, diary, planting reminder, observation deck, and research notebook all rolled into one. And when used daily, this journal practice is a life changer.

To produce big, beautiful purpose-filled blooms in any season. Now it's by far the most important tool in my own personal life gardening shed. And I wanna gift you a free journaling template today. So check out the link in show notes, or head over to the midlife. Get started today.

 Let's move on to the second part of the interview where I ask all the guests the same questions, which you already really answered the first one, which was what kind of a life season you were in.

We already talked about that, but do you have any practices that help you to live your best well-attended life? Like a regular consistent practice?

I do about that.

I do, I journal every morning. I have a little routine every morning. I get up, I go make coffee, and then I grab the dogs, and we go back to bed, and we meditate and we, meaning me, I journal and enjoy my coffee and, usually either read a little something or do a little tending.

To learn something. Yeah. I try not to go into the Doom Squirrel first thing in the morning, although it's not always easy. But anyway, the other thing that I do is every Sunday morning, I add a couple things to my morning routine where I do a card pull. So I've got a couple of decks that I, yeah, I have an Oracle deck.

And then I also have a equine wisdom deck that I pull from. And I do a card pull, and then I journal about that. And what is gonna guide me for that week? What do I have to be aware of for the upcoming week so that I can, figure out how best to approach the week, what may or may not happen.

And so those are two things that are really important to me. And it's hard when you're traveling or when you're doing something else where you're like, Ooh, I get a journal, I gotta do my thing. But it really does help.

It helps. Oh, it's, yeah, it's big. It's my journal is my go-to. I'm the same.

I'm a, I'm an early riser, and that's the first thing that I do. And it's what I teach here actually at the well-attended life is my journaling process. I get it. Have you always been a journal girl?

No. And if you had ever said, I would be any kind of coach or anything, even though all my jobs were like in leadership and mentoring and stuff like that, but I was like, always poo-pooed this self-help crap.

My dumb. But I went on a kind of spiritual journey, so the short answer is no. And then when I did start building this awareness, being aware of energy and all of those things, journaling really helps. It does. And Tim Ferris turned me onto the Five Minute Journal, and I just love that thing because it's three things that you ha that you are grateful for.

Three things that, would make this a great day. And then, and then an affirmation. You don't have to sit there and stare at a blank page. You have some prompts a little bit. Yeah. To get the juices flowing. And then the evening version of that is what went well today. What could.

What could have gone better or something. But, it's in a more positive mode of I'm grateful for this. These are three things that I really, look, I'm looking forward to, or whatever it is. But that's the easy way.

It is. It is. Yeah. I think so many people like poo journaling because they're afraid of the blank page.

And having some sort of a quick, simple format is it's life changing. And I think it helps people to stay regular and consistent in the practice, because that's really, for me, that's where the. That's where the magic happens is when you're consistent in something like that, then it does lead you, down these rabbit holes.

You sit down and you're like, oh, what did I just discover about myself in this, in, even in this 15, 20 minutes.

Yeah, absolutely. And it doesn't have to be a lot. It's just putting some thoughts down there. I feel like it just sets my mind and I really do love doing the card pulls on Sunday because it sets the tone for the coming week.

So I'm gonna suggest another end of the week practice is I go back on Sundays and I read through the entire week.

Oh, and I take my markers, and I highlight the big things I want my heart to remember. I love it. And I circle like the words that are repeated because it's crazy.

And I'm sure you'll even find with your card pull, it may even end up tying in with that. But it's like the same things will be, will come at us a million times over. And with that read back a, you're reminded about all the awesomeness that took place that week, right? Especially if you're doing this gratitude and what went right and all of that.

But then you'll start to notice patterns and it's oh, oh, that, why is this word coming up over and over again? Or, what is it about this? And it's that's my favorite day of the week is that.

I love that. Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. And I like the colors too.

It just frees you up and draw. And sometimes I'll just draw a picture in there of the horse or whatever else I'm drawing a picture of,

yes. I love it. Okay, last question is I am a part of my journaling process similar to the I guess gratitude and practice. I asked every, ask everybody to look back on the day before and spot the joy, goodness and growth that was there.

So tell me, what joy are you noticing in your life? What's something that's bringing joy these days?

Always my animals. I have two miniature dachshunds who are quietly sitting behind me here and they just crack me up. Usually. There's a lot of staring, there's a lot of weirdness, there's a lot of following me around the house.

There's just silliness coming, oozing out of them at all times. And there's also comfort and sweetness and oh my gosh, our little routines. And they're just darling. So those guys And then my horse, who is five minutes away from me he doesn't live on my property. 'cause I'm not that silly.

Cut down exactly. I can go visit him. Just, sometimes I just go over and hang out with him and we'll share an apple. I don't, I'll take a bite and then I'll give him a bite. He doesn't put his mouth on it when I'm eating it. So understand. I take a bite and then I hand it. Yes. Him a bite that I.

You know, and we'll just, sometimes we'll just go into the arena and just play, literally just play. I'll get out my polo mallet and whack the ball around, or I'll, let him chase me around or I'll chase him around and, I'll just do silly things like that. And then sometimes I'll just stand there near him and just sniff him.

That sounds weird, but that does sound weird. But I wasn't, no, but they sound good. They have nice breath, they have a happy apple breath and, oh, fun. They're just, yeah. And sometimes they'll just be like, what are you doing? Your weirdo? So that does bring me joy. What was the second thing?

You can tell it brings you joy because it's literally all over her face. Y'all at home. He's, it's over her face. Okay, so the second one is goodness and goodness is the goodness for which you are grateful for. So this is something that you would list in your gratitude journal. What are you feeling most grateful for these days?

So many things. I feel grateful that I have been able to engineer this life that I so dearly love, and I have a beautiful home and, live in a, an amazing part of the country. I live in the Pacific Northwest and these are all things I never in a million years thought that I would be enjoying at any stage of my life, to be honest with you.

So I'm just forever grateful for the opportunities that I've had the opportunities that I've been given and that I have received, and just those, that I have, the life that I have and that I'm willing to take chances to engineer what I want.

So it's interesting, we were just talking about how words keep repeating themselves.

And when you look back and you said the word opportunities several times there. And it's interesting because I just this week changed my to-do list to an opportunities list because I was getting overwhelmed with all the things to do and I was like, I started looking at it and I was like, why am I overwhelmed?

What? Look at all these opportunities. And it was such a life-changing like switch this week. Like I literally felt like I was walking through the week light as a feather. Honestly, my, my to-do list didn't change. I just now was viewing it as opportunities. And so, when I heard you say that twice, I had to point out my new to-do list.

I the fact that you are really, you're thankful for all of those opportunities that led you there. And I'm sure all of those opportunities weren't easy. It's not the way it works in life and everything that I've done, depending, regardless of how it turned out, some people are like, oh, that was a failure.

But was it, it was something that, maybe it caused me to, change direction and to pivot to try something new. I don't like to think of things as failures. At all. Yeah. Does it feel like it at the time? You're like, foof, boy, that was a mistake. But what was the lesson I learned?

What did I take away from that? And I think if you look at things that way, it takes the sting out of it. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Okay. Last question before we go is about growth. And I always ask people to look back at growth because I'm, my, my friend's father always says, you can't expect what you don't inspect.

And so if you say you wanna grow something or you have a goal and you need to be looking out for where it, where is the growth? Is it happening? And if it's not right, then you need to change your watering strategy, your, how you're going about tending to it. And where are you seeing growth in your life right now?

I know where I've seen it in the past, right? So much. So much growth. Like I said, I never thought that I would, own my own home. Nevermind, yeah.

Multiple homes. I, that, that wasn't a humble brag, but it was just, yeah.

Through, real estate investment. I never thought that I would have that, those opportunities.

And there's that word again. I. But I see growth every day because I try and reflect on what went well and celebrate those little things. I started playing polo and talk about being a beginner. I was having a lot of fun. That's not a sport that you really wanna start in your sixties, but, and I, we were having a little practice game and I smartly got a little aggressive and I caused the horse to rear up and I fell off and I shattered my wrist.

And I was like, okay, that didn't turn out how I expected it to, but it didn't stop me from, once it healed the following year, getting back up and getting on there. So I learned, okay, don't be a little aggressive about things, but, I always give myself credit for trying something new or I, being a beginner at something, like you said, it's okay if you suck, right?

Yeah. And you gotta just embrace that. And so I try things and if they don't work out okay, that, that's a growth spot for me. I, like I said, I like to be, eyes wide open all the time, and if something bubbles up, it's bubbling up for a reason, it, I can have too many shiny pretty things bubble up at once and I get a little distracted.

But I feel like they're trying to get my attention for a reason. And there is a reason that I've done so many things in my life. It's because I don't ignore stuff. And I can be a little bit more discerning now. Like I don't have to do every crazy thing that bubbles up for me, but I.

That's something interesting that I would like to learn more about. So I feel like everything is an opportunity for growth. Was that kind of a long, senseless answer? No, I loved it. And then of course you ended it with opportunity for growth. So, there we go. He just wrapped it up and brought it all the way around.

Sue, thank you so much for coming on and sharing today. Tell people how they can find you, follow you, like all the things. And don't worry for those at home. It's gonna be in the show notes too, but tell 'em anyways.

Sure. The best, go to my website, you can list. Okay. I have a podcast. It's called a Life Worth being, which is my my coaching slogan and that it has its own website, a life worth being.com.

But my coaching website is willoughby coaching.com. I'm also on Instagram also. My retreats are on the website as well. And I'm on Instagram mostly. And I also have a YouTube channel. Instagram is at sue Willoughby. And, youTube, I think is Sue at Sue Willoughby or whatever. Close enough.

Yeah. And check the show notes.

There'll be direct links there for all of the things. Oh my God. Thank you everyone who has been listening to this podcast. I sincerely hope that this episode has inspired you today to get curious and get back in your body as well in order to live out your best well tended life. And until next time, y'all blessings and blooms.

 Oh my goodness, y'all, that was so good. Don't forget to check the show notes for my favorite Heart Tap moments from this episode. What is a heart tap? Well, whenever I read, listen to a podcast or watch a speaker, I'm always on the lookout for those like head bob, heart tap, and aha moments. You know what I'm talking about.

These are the things that cause your head to Bob, an agreement, your heart to make that tap. When a much needed word of wisdom comes along or your soul to scream, aha, that was the word I was looking for. So for each episode, I like to share a few of my heart taps in the show notes with you, but I'm curious.

What are your heart tap moments? From today's episode? Run on over and direct. Message me your favorite moments, questions, heart taps, and more over at Instagram or Facebook today. And if you are inspired by this episode or maybe learn something new, make sure to share this show with a friend or post about it in your stories.

Finally. Could you do one more favor for me today? Will you take a minute and hop on over to Apple Podcast and leave a kind and thoughtful review for the Well Tinder Live podcast. You see, this is how people find us, and every positive review helps to unlock the door for someone else to get in on the magic life.

Tending to thank you again for listening and being a part of this well-attended life community. And until next time, y'all blessings and blooms.