The Well-Tended Life
The Well-Tended Life
Episode 75: The Key to Real Connection with Amy Daughters
In this episode of The Well-Tended Life podcast, I sit down with Amy Daughters—speaker, author, and champion of handwritten letters—for a joyful and soul-stirring conversation about the power of intentional connection.
What started as a spontaneous letter to a childhood camp friend turned into a life-changing ripple of reconnection, purpose, and unexpected friendship. Amy shares how leaning into a gut feeling led her down a path of writing 580 letters to 580 people—and how this simple, analog practice opened up a whole new way of living and loving.
Together, we dig into the magic of slowing down, putting pen to paper, and saying yes to the things that matter. This episode is a love letter to anyone craving more real connection in a digital world.
Here are a few heart taps from this episode:
1️⃣ Writing a letter isn’t just a gift for the recipient—it’s a healing practice for the writer too.
2️⃣ Don’t ignore those nudges. Even the wildest ideas can lead to something beautiful if you’re brave enough to follow them.
3️⃣ Camp friendships don’t have to stay in the past. Deep, lasting connections can flourish at any age when we make space for them.
4️⃣ You don’t have to say yes to everything. Choose your projects—and your people—with intention.
So grab your favorite stationery and hit play—you’re about to be reminded just how powerful one heartfelt letter (and one small act of courage) can be.
Connect with Amy Daughters
Website:
Amy Weinland Daughters, Author and Keynote Speaker | Dear Dana book
Amy Daughter's Books:
CULTIVATE U: A Life Changing 6-Week Virtual Masterclass
THIS IS YOUR SEASON. It’s time to CULTIVATE U: to water YOUR dreams, to unearth YOUR gifts, and finally tend to YOUR relationships, weeds, and needs.
Are you exhausted from watering everyone and everything else but you? Could your life, dreams, or relationships use some tending? Would you like to start living a life with less anxiety and more intention? Then click here for info on the next masterclass!
A Whole New Way To Journal
Interested in learning more about my life-tending journal process?
Click Here for Your Free Life-Tending Journal Template
Meet Me over at Modern Prairie
I am thrilled to announce that I have partnered with Melissa Gilbert of Little House on the Prairie fame’s and her company and community over at Modern Prairie.COM. Download the Modern Prairie App to Join Me the Journaling Circle, and Sign Up for my Free Journal Classe or to Join the Journaling Gems Club today! Can’t wait to see you there!
Speaking Of
Are you looking for a unique speaker? I would love to be a part of your next event! Let’s chat: keri@keriwilt.com
Let’s Get Connected
I want to cheer you on as you begi...
Hey friends. Welcome to the Well-Tended Life Podcast. What is a well-tended life? Let me start by telling you what it is. Not a well-tended. Life is not a set it and forget it life, nor is it a perfect life. It is though a life that is worked on every day in the sunshine and through the storms. And the truth is what worked in our life gardens last year may not work in the next.
That's why. Here at the Welwood Life Podcast, we're interviewing people who have grown and bloomed true in a variety of seasons, and who are willing to share their well-attended wisdom and bead whacking advice with us. Listen in.
Hello everyone and welcome to the Well-Tended Life podcast. I'm your host, Keri Wilt, a speaker, writer, and heart cultivator who is on a mission to help you and me grow through any season. Now, as usual,
every episode of the podcast is inspired by a quote from my great-grandmother's famous book, the Secret Garden, and this one says it's, this is such a big lonely place.
She said slowly as if she were turning it over in her mind. And I don't know if y'all know this at home, but in 2023, the surgeon General actually declared that loneliness is now an epidemic in America. And at that time, 21% of adults reported that they had serious feelings of loneliness and.
You might not be surprised either to know though that the leading cause of loneliness is actually technology with over 73% reporting that it was a significant factor. I love though that today our guest, Amy Daughters actually used. Technology to reach out and reconnect with her friends one by one in a very unexpected way, y'all, she believes that being connected individually in a meaningful way, nothing can separate them, and I just can't wait to see what other well tended wisdom she has to share with us today.
So let's dig in. Hello, Amy. Hello, Keri. Welcome. I'm very excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Yeah. I gave like literally just a barely tip in the toe of who you are. Give the audience a little description. Who is Amy Daughters? Alright, I'm up. Freelance writer and author.
I've turned out to be a speaker. I've mostly written about sports in my writing career, college football, and then that rolled into writing a first book. And then the second book is the story that I'm here to talk to you about. I didn't intend to write that book, but it had to be shared. The story had to be shared.
And I live in. Outside of Houston, Texas, I've got two kids and a husband. I'm a recent empty nester. So I'm trying all the things and saying yes to everything and probably need to slow it down a notch. So that's, oh my gosh, how I too am a brand new empty nester. How's that going for you?
I feel like. I thought I was gonna be so super creative. 'cause I've always written from home and the kids have always come home and been a part of that day. The silence has been harder to deal with than I thought. On one hand, I'm so proud of my people that they're out in the world doing their things.
I miss them terribly and I realize that was probably the best part of my life. But creatively, I've stalled a bit because I think I just gotta get back into a rhythm. The rhythm of my life for the last, 25 years, it's been upended, which is probably gonna be a great thing for me when I get used to it.
Yes. Oh, a hundred percent. And I think for me, the biggest thing is the lack of structure. That the school year gave me. Most days I'm like, what day is it? Like I've had to start in my journal actually writing like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in there because I miss the structure that their lives caused in my life.
And so I think for me, that's the same. It's like trying to find my place and find my rhythm. I. Rhythm. That's exactly it. Oh my gosh. So good. Okay. Let's digress. Let's go back to really why we decided to talk today. Tell me like more, like you just like really breezed over oh, I did all of these things.
But talk more about that your journey that led you to your current path and passion to connect people with each other and back to themselves. Yeah. Yeah. And just that story in itself is. Incredible. I was minding my own business. This is how I like to tell the story. And I was totally minding my own business I'd written the first book and I was doing all the writing and I'm on Facebook and this girl I went to camp with.
30 years ago, 35 years ago, her name was Dana. We spent maybe six weeks together at this camp. That's it. I don't really remember anything except we were both really loud and thought we were hilarious. So I would always remember, oh, I wonder what happened with Dana. I wonder what happened to Dana.
So I'm on Facebook, I put her name in. Voila. I. Dana has arrived back in the new, she's on, so I friend request her since it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't really matter if she doesn't remember me. She accepts my friendship request and I spend like the delightful, obligatory seven months looking through her life, trying to figure out what the deal is.
Her hair has changed. She's very interesting to me, and then I realized, oh my gosh, she has overachieved in children. She has five kids. This girl is busy and so she has four daughters. The youngest kid is the only son and his name is Parker. So right away I figure out. She's with him in Memphis, at St.
Jude, he's got cancer and it's likely very serious if that's where he is. Right away as a human being, as a mom, as a person, I got involved in this story, but I did feel a little bit like Harry. Like I was over feeling it a bit. I felt like I was more involved than I should have been, like emotionally.
Like I didn't hit, like I didn't comment, I didn't do any of those things. I felt like that was pretty disingenuous to walk back into somebody's life after 30 years. And I don't know if she really remembered me. Other than she was being kind and accepting my request. And so I follow along these people's story and she starts to ask her people to pray.
That's kinda my thing. So I start doing that, but it's all background, like no connection at all. And so I follow along again, over feeling a little bit and she gets through this, really tough time at in Memphis. And then they go back to somewhere in Louisiana where they live, and I assume he's in remission.
He's, receiving treatment locally. And the Dana is very transparent and very honest, telling everything that's going on. That's probably one of the reasons I got so involved. And so I put her on the back burner of my consciousness, but she did post about LSU football and I write about football, and so I got, I was, I got all into that.
But then later that same year, she posted that they were going back to Memphis at the, and then it turned out the cancer was back. And so again I got involved and I. Sat down at my desk one morning to write and it was like a lightning bolt. Hit me, is the only way I can explain it. I was like, you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna start writing Dana and Parker little cards and little notes and sending them. They were staying at the Ronald McDonald House in Memphis. I was like, that's what I'm gonna do. And I hadn't written anyone a letter in 25 years. It's not like I was the letter writing lady. Not at all. It was so non-intentional.
And I still hadn't spoken to Dana or had any no likes, no comments, none of that. This was outta nowhere. And I like to tell the story of different levels of me being crazy. This is like Defcon one, like I'm getting involved going in hot, coming in hot. I start writing these.
Cards and notes, and they were short. It was like, I'm praying for you. I'm thinking about you. I remember you from camp. If you don't remember me, I'm still as attractive as I was. It was that kind of stuff. Trying to, I'm being crazy, but allow me please. And so I do this for 10 weeks maybe.
And then, and really there's no way to frame this. It has nothing to do with me. It's just completely devastating. I get up on Sunday morning and she's post that Parker's passed away at 15 years old. Completely. And again, I was over feeling this story has, this part of the story has nothing to do with me.
And I get that. But I got home and cried about it and I hadn't ever met Parker, but I did feel invested in my small way in the story. So back at my desk to. Next morning, I'm like, what am I gonna do? 'cause I felt so called to the letter writing thing and I was like, like mini thunderbolt.
I'm just gonna keep writing her. And it was like a gut instinct and it was something I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. So now though, like where does she even live in Louisiana? 'cause this is Facebook, like who even knows? And I can't message her and say, Hey, what's your address? So I remember I met her husband the year I met before her at the same camp.
He's an attorney. Wait a second, I can send the letters to his law office. That's not crazy. Except for it's nuts. So it is crazy, right? So like crazy stalker letter writing girl is gonna write this woman who's suffered through something none of us even wants to think about. But I'm gonna keep writing her letter.
So every week I put her on my writing schedule. Every week I would write her, I'd make it my Sunday for my Monday. I'd write it on Sunday, and then I'd mail it on Monday every week. The card started like. Like four sentences. And I like to write, so I just started writing about my life la, and sending these cards.
And every week I was like, you're crazy. You're nuts. This is stupid. Why are you doing it? But I couldn't stop myself. So about four months into this. I lived at Ohio at the time. I go out to my mailbox on my birthday and I'm like, oh, maybe somebody sent me a card or something. You know that's not gonna happen 'cause it's 2017, right?
Or whatever. So I pull the mail out and lo and behold, a 10 page handwritten letter from this woman Dana on the other side of my mailbox. I'm like, holy sch Nikes. This is one of the best moments of my life. 'cause it was. So I go inside and I read this thing 10 pages. Handwritten. She talks about her kids.
She talks about all the stuff. Not all the stuff. I couldn't, but she talks about her grief and I was like, wow, this kicks off Carrie, two years of me and this Dana girl communicating through the US Mail, that's, we did not text each other. We did not email each other. I don't know that we had each other's phone numbers until about the middle of it.
It created this incredibly profound, intimate in writing relationship where we shared everything and we didn't, you didn't expect a response from the other person. I know this sounds very simplistic, but I but the way the letter writing works though is that she would. Write me a bunch of stuff, and I didn't feel like I had to respond to it because I couldn't, and I didn't know when she was reading my stuff.
And then it was much more freeing, like I said, way more stuff. And she said way more stuff than she would've because we weren't really looking for a response. And we didn't even know if the other person was ever gonna read it. But we would say stuff like, craziness I've never told anybody this before, but I know I can trust you, blah, blah, blah.
A letter, and I felt so close to her. My perspective on my own life was changed because I was looking at it from the outside in and writing about it. And I, and the best part was I had no idea like what she believed from a religion standpoint. I had no idea how she voted. I had no idea her stance on any issue.
I did, no, didn't know, how much money they had. I didn't know anything, but I, all I knew is I didn't give a. I didn't care about any of that. I just cared about this friend who had lost, everything. And she talked about that. And she said if she went into the room, she told me after the fact her husband or four daughters are there and everybody was having a bad day.
She would write to me about her grief because it, she didn't wanna bring the room down. And it was so profound that I sat back after about. I don't know how many eight months of writing her and her writing me back. I was like, if this can happen with this one girl whose hair changed from camp, what about all these other people?
Like what other untapped goodness is in this list? So then I went all world Bananagrams nutso, and I put everyone's name in an Excel spreadsheet. I bought stationary, I shoved all these little slips of paper in a box, and then I started drawing 'em out. Every day writing a letter. And I didn't think, and I was still writing Dana and Dana was still writing me at the time.
At this point, we still hadn't spoken. I told her about the other letters in a letter and I journaled the whole thing. I didn't think I was ever gonna finish. I don't know how serious I was, but it ended up, I went on an 18 month journey of writing all 600 of my Facebook friends a handwritten letter, and it blew up my life.
Whoa. That is crazy. Awesome, right? The fact that you just stepped in and wrote that initial letter, I think probably was your craziest step ever, right? Just the, it's like stepping off a cliff and you don't really know what's on the other side, but yet you followed that inkling that knowing that you were supposed to jump off that cliff.
And I think that's a great, that's a great lens to look at this story through, because, I talk about letter writing all the time, but one of the best, two of the best parts of the story, it's one, it's just it, we all have these gut instincts of things to do and you can say they're, you can frame it as however you wanna frame where that inspiration comes from, but following through on that and.
Trusting your own gut and doing something that feels crazy can turn out to be the, the most incredible thing that ever happens to you. And the other side of the story angle of the story I like to tell is if, I could have kept writing those letters into a vacuum forever.
If she wouldn't have written me back, I wouldn't have written a book about it. We wouldn't be talking about it today. So that's the other side. This person who also being very vulnerable and jumping off her own cliff. To write back and share with me. That's incredible. Her side of the story.
I, I feel like, is it's even more brave than mine in a different way. She could have just said, stalker girl. No, I'm sure she said that a couple times. Probably. I'll have to ask her. I'm sure there were times where she'd be like, this girl, this random woman, but we all do that. It's interesting. I wrote, I just wrote down the word no expectations. I guess that's two words technically. Because I think that what stops people from listening to those gut. Feelings is that they attach an expectation to it, right? Like they expect somebody to write them back, or they expect something bad to be on the other side, or they expect I think what, why this worked is that you had no expectations.
I think you're, you literally just let it go, let it be whatever it needed to be. I think you're a hundred percent right, and I think that it's the lack of, I had a lack of intention because I was just like, Ooh, just, you're right. There were no. There was no intention.
I didn't mean to go on a meaningful journey, I wasn't standing out in the field in a vanilla dress twirling around saying, oh look, we're gonna change the world. That wasn't that at all. I was just like, oh, I'm gonna write some letters. And that's the thing about a letter, Carrie, is that I.
You're not setting any expectations with a letter because you don't know when anyone's gonna read it. You don't know if they're ever gonna respond. There's zero expectation. It says it's so non-intrusive, like you're not asking anybody to do anything back. So really that your observation is really in line with my entire topic.
Hey, hey, hey. Have you heard the news? I am so thrilled to announce that I have partnered with Melissa Gilbert of Little House on the Prairie Fame and her company and community over@modernprairie.com. You'll find me there most days. Teaching the topsoil of my life, tending, journaling, practice, leading an accountability and check-in group called the Journaling Gems Club, which is designed to help you to not just get journaling, but to stay journaling all while building some community along the way.
Or you can find me hosting and hanging out in a brand new part of their app that is dedicated to all things journaling. Sound like fun. Check out the link in the show notes to download the Modern Prairie app today. Then you can join the journaling circle and sign up for the class or join the club today.
I can't wait to see you there.
I think probably the hard part is that we've lost that art of letter writing. Like we don't even, like we know how to send a text. That's what we do. And actually my mom has a rule about those gut instincts. When she, when somebody comes on her mind out of nowhere and we, y'all, everybody at home, you have all felt this somebody's name.
You'll just start thinking about some random person that maybe you knew from camp. Maybe the you worked with years worked. Maybe that you just whatever, maybe saw the other day on, on social media, but that when somebody comes on your heart. My mom always sends them a message and just says, Hey, was thinking about you today.
Hope all is well. Nothing more than that. No expectations of them responding, just like in obedience of they were on my mind. And and I don't even know where I was going with that, but I think you should always listen to your inklings and those times when things come out of nowhere.
No. Absolutely. And I think the other thing is to encourage each other to do that, because that's the thing, if you, I had a great support system of people like, yeah, letters. Let's go. And if I wouldn't have had that, like if I, if my friend at the time would've said, you're crazy.
Stop writing her. But she said, no just go with it. Go. And if you don't, we don't encourage each other. And the other thing is it's, we're all on different paths and that's good. We don't have and that's the thing, this story is not a blueprint other than the power of. Letter writing, yeah.
But it's not a blueprint. 600 letters is crazy. That's not what the point of the story is. But if we can encourage each other to be on those different paths and be each other's cheerleaders, then we end up with stories like this one. A hundred percent. Okay. I now remember what I was talking about.
I don't think people know how to write a letter. And so can you talk to us about what did you say? What did you write about? Like just walk us through. And that's the best question. 'cause this is what I like to talk about because I, it's not because I'm some great person.
I had this goal, so I had to write something. So I came up with a little formula because I, it was just an end to a mean, again, I was, it's not like inspired by anything, but I had to fill the two pages. 'cause that was the rule I have. I gave myself some rules and so I had to fill the two pages. So what was I even gonna say?
Okay, so the first thing you do just outta desperation is you go to their profile and look at it. And then all of a sudden I was like, wait a second, I am connected to this incredible group of accomplished people. Because until you look at everyone individually you just don't, we don't do that because of the way social media works.
Not 'cause we're bad people, but I assumed so many things about people that was wrong. I was like, oh, I went to high school with her. No. That's not correct that she's from somewhere else, but that the simple act of looking for something to connect with, so I could write about it was just, it was so eyeopening.
'cause all of a sudden I'm like, these people are just incredible individuals and they're also living real lives with losses and struggles and wins. And so right away there's the first paragraph was what? This is why I'm doing this, Dana and Parker. Reconnection, blah, blah, blah. I wrote, and I'm writing everyone.
And then the next part was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that you also do this, or you also like this, or, I'm so sorry that you lost your mother, or, and I was hesitant about that. But then I realized it's never too late. It's never too late. I had somebody who escaped the 9 1 1 towers, and this was, I wrote her, what, 15 years after the fact and it was just so that was the first part, you're, or let's say I'm writing you a letter. I'm like, Carrie, let's say we went to high school together. I'd be like, Carrie, look at you with this podcast. Look at you with this coaching. Oh my gosh, I you are, I'm so proud to be your friend and be a part of your story 'cause you are killing it.
And I'm so sorry you lost your mother. And then the next part was even better. 'cause oh wait, I still have another page to fill. Like I, I said all that, but there's more. And so the next part, and this just came naturally, I was like, ah, Carrie like what was our interaction like in high school?
I. Like you said, your mom the name comes to your head, but in this case, I'm thinking deliberately about you, Carrie. Oh, Carrie was the girl who after lunch, when Larry broke up with me, we stood by the payphone, outside the lunchroom and I was like, sobbing, and Carrie was like. Do you know what, Amy?
This is not gonna define your life relationally. You're gonna go on and amazing crap's gonna happen in your life, and you got right in my face and all of a sudden you were Carrie, the coach and you didn't even know it yet. Like you weren't even, you didn't even know you were gonna do what you do now. But I, but here's the best thing I get to thank Carrie.
For being my friend, specifically in a specific paragraph with specific details all those years ago. So then I send you this letter and it's not, don't just think about what it'd be like for Carrie to receive this letter. Think about how it would feel to write that letter. That's the best part, then, so then you're writing this meaningful letter, and what I did not understand is yes, it was all gonna be meaningful just by accident almost, but then when they get the letter, when they pull it out of the mailbox, there's gonna be this moment that you can't even describe. 'cause here's what's gonna happen.
Carrie's gonna go out to our mailbox. The letter's gonna come outta nowhere. You're probably not gonna expect it. You're gonna hold it in your hand before you even read all the stuff I said, you're gonna be like, here's what she had to do to write the letter. She had to sit down, she had to find paper.
Wait, where's a pen? Wait my hand hurts. I need ask for cream. Somebody help me. And then she had to write all this down, whether it was two sentences or six pages. She took the time to do that. Then wait a second, where's the envelope? How did you get the address? Then you have to find a stamp.
Then you have to drive across town and. Where even is the post office anymore? Who even knows? And so when you hold that in your hand, you're gonna be like, tick tick, tick. And I know this because I watch people experience it over and over again, non intentionally. They're gonna be like, this is how much I mean to another human being.
Boom, right? It's gonna change the world and I didn't know it. You're gonna have that moment and you can create that moment for 73 cents and about 15 minutes of your time. It's this tool we have in our human toolkit that is so simple, it's easy to overlook, but I'm telling you what, right now, it is so powerful that I cannot shut up about it.
It's awesome. It's so awesome. Yeah. 73 cents and a little bit of your time can tell somebody that they matter, when we, when I was reading about just how many people feel lonely. One simple interaction like that can change things. Oh, and I saw it over and over again and I was just, it was shocking to me the, just the response, when we when, 'cause I ended up writing the book about it.
'cause I was like, this story has to be shared with the world, and Dana and I went on to 17, stop. Book tour. 'cause Dana's my best friend now, of course. Plot twist. Plot twist. She's in the other room on the girls' trip, oh yes, that's the best. But anyway, people came to these book signings with their letter in pristine condition and the most common response I got from those letters was, I will save your letter in a special place for the rest of my life.
Yeah. Boom. I didn't even try to do that and it happened, but I think it's really important though, that I think the story is overwhelming, like 600 letters. That's crazy. And I get it. I still think it's crazy. It just gave me a great jump off point to talk about this, but really it's one note.
It's fits your personality. It's two sentences. It can be a sticky note. The whole mailing thing is great and I think that just next level is the communication. But you really will touch somebody in a way that you just cannot understand until you. Participate in it. But you don't need two pages.
If you're somebody who has to do all the words, yeah, that's great. If your handwriting's horrible, that's awesome because you're showing yourself to be vulnerable like a real human being. You know that, and then you're showing them your handwriting. It's super intimate. I'm holding my hand something that you held in your hand that you meant just for me.
It's all those things, but two sentences, one line like your mom's text in a card from Target. Perfect. Nail it off. I do though. Love that you gave yourself a two page minimum a goal, because I do though think that, I think you can almost more easily dismiss a quick card and a small note.
The, for me that the intention and the time. That it takes to do the two pages takes it up to a whole other level of intimacy and connection. It allows for that. Because a deeper conversation allows for connection. What it allowed me, those two steps I talked about it, those steps wouldn't have developed without that length.
Because once I would've gotten to the end of the page, then I could have stopped and said, yeah, love. Everyone said, your friend in real life. Love your friend in real life. That's how I signed off on every letter, because it was like taking this electronic relationship and making it, making people real over and over again.
'cause it was like, oh my God, these people's lives are as real as mine. And then the big takeaway is what I said about Dana and I, one of the big takeaways for me was, oh my gosh, I don't care how Carrie voted. Now, Carrie helped me in high school. I don't care what carrie's. Political beliefs are her specific religion, because what matters to me, and I learned it from writing Carrie, a letter, is Carrie and i's connection.
So that's where that divide that's between us, for me and each of these people, I feel like it just shrunk because you know what, we matter, what we believe absolutely, certainly matters to us without a doubt. But it just, all that just seemed to dissipate with these real connections being named, being made.
It's so huge and I just, the fact that you said, this process helped you make people real. And I think that's probably one of the biggest, issues with social media is that I. You're really, you're only seeing what they show you. One, but none of us, I know I've never taken the time, maybe when social media first came about, or maybe when I first got on social media, did I actually do what you did, which was like, like dive deep and be like, who is this person and what, why are they, what are they doing today?
And all the things, I'm now inspired, like I wanna go back into to all of them and think to myself, like, how do I know you being more intentional. Does it make you, are you more intentional about who you accept as friend requests? Yeah, I am. I mean it's funny though 'cause I had to, there was a cutoff point where people were friending me at the end because they knew there was letters involved and I was like, guys, I have to stop.
I can't do this anymore. I'm worn out. I can't write any more letters. But absolutely. But I also know when I get a new friend that I. Everyone's letter worthy. Really, every connection is letter worthy. And so though I don't, I do, I still write letters but I look at them and know they have a real life too, just like the 580 people that I wrote to.
I feel a much deeper connection, but I also know that same. Process of looking like you're saying and being intentional and looking into their life. It is available to anyone who wants to do something like this, whether you write 'em a letter or not, and I'm like, oh, this is another precious individual.
This is another human living. A messy screwed up. Beautiful. Oh my god. Life and that's true of everyone. And the other thing that was so great is my grateful meter like went off the charts because as it turned out, I was connected to all these amazing people for a reason. Whether it was 10 minutes like you and I danced at our friend's daughter's wedding and talked about our feelings in the women's room, , that was valuable. Or if we had lived next door to each other for 10 years and watched each other's kids and heard the baby monitors at night and saw the lactation in the streets, those, they, but I was like, oh my God, these people all showed up at the right time and what hope there is in the future that as I add these friends.
These connections to my life , people are gonna be here at the right time. And I think that was the part where I think other people saw themselves differently through the letters. And they felt less alone. And that 21% of adults reporting loneliness, it's a super important, because of social media.
'cause it makes us feel isolated. We don't feel like we're seen as individuals. And this letter writing thing that I came on. By accident. It, a lot of that just goes away as soon as they open the letter. And I find even through my coaching in small group classes that, people think they're the only ones going through whatever it is.
And so it's like that loneliness is broadened when they're only seeing people sharing the big top highlights. But the real truth is when you actually create a connection with someone is we are all gonna go through the same things. We are all gonna go through the loss of a parent.
We're all gonna go through the loss of a child. Eventually, hopefully not in that dramatic way, but we're all gonna become empty nesters at some point. We're all going to there are a lot of commonalities that we're gonna go through but when you're in the middle of it you think you're the only one right. No. Exactly. And the other thing that was amazing is people wrote back and they shared like next level share 'cause they felt seen. And so I have one girl and we all have this girl she looked like, she she had pictures on yachts and they had champagne. And I was like, oh my god.
And it's the, I'm. Just like everybody else, I look at her life and be like, what'd I do wrong? My thighs are way too big to have the photographer on the yacht, and then I don't even have a boat other than that I'm killing it, but she wrote me back and she was like, I've just got diagnosed with bipolar disease and I really needed a friend to reach out to me and thank you so much.
They just shared and over again, and we know this, we all know this, that it's not what the real life is different than what we're seeing a lot of times. But I was reminded of that like 600 times in a row. So it, but people don't wanna share that because they don't wanna put it out there in the universe and feel vulnerable.
But when you get contacted individually, that changes everything. Everything. 'cause she felt like she could tell me that because she felt like I really cared about her. 'cause I told her I did, and I did the little two step process, so good. So good. So good. So good. What do you what do you feel like your biggest personal takeaway is?
From that whole process? I really think it comes down to I think one the power of letter writing is something I always wanna be involved in. It is absolutely the best version of me. I still, every morning I keep a little journal like. It's things I see on social media or things I know that people may be struggling with or congratulations.
I have it in different categories and every day I write somebody a card and just say, so one letter writing off the charts so powerful. And two, there is nothing big enough in this world to separate two people who. Connect in a deliberate individual way because when you focus in on that connection it pretty much takes care of almost anything.
And I wrote a lot of people who don't believe what I believe, who don't, aren't on the same side of the political spectrum that I am. And if those people, and I've had in-person meetings with the letter writing people, which is always funny too, but it's just hugs. It's hugs and a little bit of tears and all those things because it matters more to them too.
And it's, and in this culture that we're in right now it's a really, it's a really powerful message. Yeah. Oh, so good. Okay. Can I wanna digress a little bit because I love that you, that really that it was a camp friend. That you reconnected with? Because I was a camp girl too, grew up going to camp and I think a lot of times people who have either never been to camp or like maybe or maybe they have young kids and they're thinking about sending their kids to camp, but they have no idea.
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Tell me about your camp experience and like what did it teach you growing up? Yeah, at camp, camp was a lifesaver for me. I, quirky personality, big personality, bowl cut, all the things that I had. And so my best friend growing up her, she wanted to go to this camp in Trinity, Texas, and my parents were like.
Okay, you can go. And they didn't even drive up and look at it. And there was no internet. They just said, get on the bus in front of the academy and then we'll go. And but what really it gave me I felt like I was, I always felt like I was celebrated at camp, like my quirky personality and my, I felt so celebrated and so allowed to be myself at camp.
And it was this. This, I always like to think of camp as like a, it's like a relational microwave. If you develop a relationship outta camp, you need, years or months to get things going. Camp, you've only got several weeks here guys, and there's something about being in a bubble of camp that the friends from camp you make.
It's just such a powerful connection that is like a microwave. It's it would take. However long to cook this thing outside of here, but we can do it in a microwave at camp. And so growing up at camp and then, and I think that's why Dana's name always jumped around in my head because, like me, I'd live a, lived a lot of life and had a lot of friends and a lot of relationships.
But I remember Dana because we connected at camp and that was a more powerful connecting point. And then I had the advantage of being a camper than I was a counselor. I met my husband at camp, I. There was too hot one summer and there was too many pine trees. Next thing I'm folding some guy's underwear.
I don't even know what happened, Carrie. So it's a classic love story, but again, he saw me in a different way than he would've seen me meeting me any other place in life. 'cause camp allows your zaniness, but camp also is nights up talking about your deepest feelings, and both my kids went to camp, same camp, we're camp people.
Yeah, so good. I always feel like when people ask me about camp, it was. I always felt as a kid I felt like I was independent. Like I was making all of these choices. I was getting myself up. I was, getting my, I was choosing my classes. Like it felt like this really independent thing that I was doing, and as an adult now I can look back and go, oh, there was structure all around me. Safe. Yeah. But it felt safe. It felt like a place where I could, you could be vulnerable, you could share, you could I love that idea of a microwave 'cause it's true. And I don't think I've ever heard anybody describe it that way, but yet the relationships that you make and honestly, I feel the same way.
Even as an adult. I go to a women's camp called camp Lucky Star every year and it's five days. And it's the same thing like those camp friends in that microwave. Is it's life changing. So even if you've never gone to camp, go find, a women's conference a camp, anything like that and go put your toe in the water because it will, it'll change you in the way that I believe that the letter writing has the ability to change.
Oh, yeah. And that, the other thing I love is I'm a numbers girl and so I had spreadsheets for everything on this project, but I like one of the. Elements of the spreadsheet is, how did I meet you? Because it, that kind of started because I assumed so many things that were wrong about where I met people.
'cause there was 600 of them that I started doing that as a part of v logging in the whole thing. But the biggest group was the camp people. The biggest group and the biggest cheerleaders. The people who showed up at all the book signs. So many camp people, because that's, they're your people for life, for life. Yeah, they are. Yeah. It's. It's so good. Okay, last question. You call yourself a spreader of hope, which I absolutely love. Tell me a little bit more about what does that mean for you? I think that, again, I, the universe or God, however you wanna frame it gave me this great story to live, and I think the lessons I learned in the letter writing and the idea that like, personal connection can trump so many things that's the spreading of the hope 'cause.
What if the hope we're all looking for Carey? What if the hope we so desperately need that seems like it's been sucked out of us. Is right next to it. What if it's down to a Zoom call like this? What if it's, what if it's the person struggling two cubicles over from you? What if it's your friend from 30 years ago on Facebook?
What if all that hope we need is right around us? We just don't see it anymore because the way our culture works it's been taken away from us almost. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Is there anything else you wanna share about your book? We're gonna, we're gonna give everybody all the links and all the things, if you go on my website, amy daughters.com, , my mailing address is on there. So if anybody wants to start writing letters by writing me, I would a hundred percent love to see you in my mailbox, and I will a hundred percent write you back and she's got the best picture.
It's my favorite picture of your whole website. Her website is amazing just like she is, but there's a picture of her holding a phone probably was either a rotary phone or a, one with the actual punch buttons, which. The kids don't even know what these are anymore in the toilet.
Because that was like the big deal before cell phones existed. If you were, like, if you were living large, you had a telephone in your restroom, which is ghastly now that I think about it. Oh, it's horrible. It seemed like the coolest thing until you realize that someone's gonna sit on that toilet and call you.
, that's ridiculous, but yet I can tell you most of the time I'm talking to my mother, I'm also on the toilet oh yeah. There are a few of my friends that are intimate enough that it's okay. They can hear the echo. We're good. No I a hundred percent agree with that. But that is a great, that is a great photo.
'cause we were in a, that was recently and some of the. Hotels still have the, especially if you're like, you're somebody's swanky Christmas party and you go to the pre-party at the suite, a lot of times you go up in those suites and there's, they're that phone. 'cause that's what that picture's from, that they've still got the phone and the toilet.
'cause it's that kind of that class A experience, which is so funny. Oh my gosh. Okay, now we're onto the second part of the interview. And I ask all of my guests the exact same questions. And this one is, I wanna know, tell me a little bit about the life season that you are in. And I ask this because I think it's one of the most important things that we need to know about ourselves because it really informs our yeses and our nos in life, right?
If you're in a. Two kids under six season, you're gonna be able to say yes to some things and you're gonna need to say no to a lot of things. So tell me a little bit about the life season you're in right now. I just became an empty nester in the fall. And so I love your whole weed whacking concept because I feel like that probably needs, somebody needs to come in and, whack my weeds a little bit because, so my season is all of a sudden I have all this freedom.
What do I do with it? And I've had a couple friends tell me, don't go and do all the things. You gotta slow it down and be deliberate about what you're gonna pick. But I think creatively I went the other direction. I was like, I'm gonna do. All these projects at once. And then I was left at the beginning of this year thinking, no, you need to pick two things and roll with that, and ease your way into this rather than come in hot.
'cause I think that's what I was doing. That's so smart. What are those two projects? I'm curious. Speaking is one of the projects. And then I'm writing a third book. So that's the other project. Exciting. Yeah. And and then I have other balls in the air with other things.
But those are the two things I'm trying to really drill down on, and make that, rather than getting up in the morning thinking, oh, there's 18 things. Like I write in the morning, keep the balls in the air in the afternoon, and then speak when anyone will ever left me or do interviews, podcast interviews with great people like you, I love it. And I think your friend's advice is smart about like limiting I always tell people there's a reason that there're, that there's really only one head to a watering can is it's not meant, there's not supposed to be like 12 heads, right? We try, we think we can water all of these things and we're amazing women, right?
Like we, we can do a lot of things but really. Our water gets spread thin and nothing's gonna grow the same unless you really do limit it down. So I do appreciate her advice. The next question is what regular practices do you have that might help all of us to live our best well-attended lives?
Again, it's back to me, back to my favorite topic, stalking people on the internet. No it's it's, yeah, it's every day sending someone a note every day. And, and it can even be a sticky note, I still have sticky notes around my house that people have said nice things to us and we leave 'em up.
Dana's good at doing that, but every day I get up. And write somebody a short note and or a letter or whatever because that's, it's the best version of me and it's one way I know no matter what else happens the rest of that day. Sets my intentions for the day. That's one, piece of hope.
One good thing I can do a day that really is going to make a difference. I love that. Daily planting Seeds of hope. Love it.
And now it's time for my favorite part of the interview because it's inspired by my life tending general practice. But let me be clear, this is not your grandma's journal. It's more of a growth chart, reflection, diary, planting reminder, observation deck, and research notebook all rolled into one. And when used daily, this practice is a life changer.
To produce big, beautiful purpose-filled blooms in any season. Now it's by far the most important tool in my own personal life gardening shed. And I wanna gift you a free journaling template today. So check out the link in the show notes, or head over to the wells midlife download started today.
The next question is based off of my own journal practice, you said you were a journal. You kept a journal. I have a journal as well and there's a portion in my journaling practice where I look back to notice the joy, goodness and growth because I think so many of us are running too fast and we're not noticing it.
Tell me what joy are you noticing in your life right now? Oh, there's so much joy. No, I think that the joy for me, something that I'm back into playing golf and being bad at it, and that's a great joy. 'cause I, again, I overscheduled myself, so I was like, every Thursday I'm gonna play golf now.
And I really, I, there's a lot of joy in that. I'm never gonna be good at it, but I just love it. And being out and just allowing myself to do that and putting that on a schedule and making, taking that as serious. Is anything else I'm doing? Just the act of scheduling it is what? It's serious.
Not the actual golf. Yeah. Which is horrible. Yeah. No, I I love golf too. I, we haven't played in years, but the problem with golf is that you're terrible. And then you hit one swing. Oh yeah. That feels so, 'cause you're like, I hate this. And then you hit that one swing.
Oh. I want this. I'm back in, I'm back in, I'm back in, I'm back in, and then I'm go back to being terrible. So I get oh and oh. It's like real life. Yeah. Yeah. I got back in the car with my husband last weekend and I was like that might be the best shot I ever hit in my life. And I'd I got an eight on the last hole, yeah. He was like, stay in your lane, you're fine. But the joy of the one shot though, for sure. Yeah. Oh, it's that one. Sweet. It feels so good that it makes you go back into. To more for sure. Okay. The second one is goodness, the goodness for which you're grateful for. So this would be something that you would list maybe in a gratitude journal.
Like what are you feeling grateful for? I think the other side of the empty nest experience is that, oh my gosh, I'm married to someone who I like, like this person though I would, I could punch him right in the face. No, I'm just kidding. It's marriage, but like I could tackle him, but also hiding behind this child raising thing we did, was this incredible relationship that's super fun that we get to be.
Ourselves now after all that happened and be together. And I, there's great, I'm very grateful for my marriage and I think I always knew that, but coming out of the tunnel of raising kids which was probably the best part of my life, looking back now where I am as an empty nester. But here's this marriage.
Yay. This is the best. I'm so grateful for it. We belong together and this is our messed up thing that we did, and it, we love it. And I hear you keep saying that was the best time of your life. I hear from everybody who's starting to put their toe into the grandparent season, right?
Everyone's claims that is the best part of their life. So I feel like there's still hope ahead for us, even though the child raising is over. Awesome. Okay, so then the last question is about growth. And growth is always the hardest. Thing to spot because growth happens in tiny little shoots.
But these are like the life lessons the things that we're learning about ourselves along the way. Like where are you spotting growth in your life right now? I think it is the, like I talked about, the slowing down and saying, just because you have the time,
this is not the time to do that. You pick a couple things and go with those and see what happens. I think that's where I see the most growth. And I have a good friend whose name is Dana who has talked to me a lot about that and she sees that in me slow down and pick a couple things and go with that.
If not, you're just gonna go over the edge, and so I think I see that growth in myself, especially over the last probably four months. Yeah. So good. Amy, thank you so much for coming on with us today and sharing. This has been so fun. Tell people where they can find you, follow you, buy your books, all the things right.
If you go to amy daughters.com, that's pretty much got the links. You can buy the books on Amazon. Independent bookstores. Always a good place to, to get a book to support. But everything's on there, like I said, including my mail address. I love to hear from people. Both stories are on there, so that's the best spot.
I love that. Thank you everyone who has been listening to the podcast today. I sincerely hope this episode has inspired you today to dig a little bit deeper into those social media connections and maybe drop them align or to help them. You feel seen and a little bit less lonely today. So until next time, y'all.
Blessings and blooms. Thank you.
Oh my goodness, y'all, that was so good. Don't forget to check the show notes for my favorite Heart Tap moments from this episode. What is a heart tap? Well, whenever I read, listen to a podcast or watch a speaker, I'm always on the lookout for those like head bob, heart tap, and aha moments. You know what I'm talking about.
These are the things that cause your head to Bob, an agreement, your heart to make that tap. When a much needed word of wisdom comes along or your soul to scream, aha, that was the word I was looking for. So for each episode, I like to share a few of my heart taps in the show notes with you, but I'm curious.
What are your heart tap moments? From today's episode? Run on over and direct. Message me your favorite moments, questions, heart taps, and more over at Instagram or Facebook today. And if you are inspired by this episode or maybe learn something new, make sure to share this show with a friend or post about it in your stories.
Finally. Could you do one more favor for me today? Will you take a minute and hop on over to Apple Podcast and leave a kind and thoughtful review for the Well Tinder Live podcast. You see, this is how people find us, and every positive review helps to unlock the door for someone else to get in on the magic life.
Tending to thank you again for listening and being a part of this well-attended life community. And until next time, y'all blessings and blooms.